Happy Halloween! Unlike most holidays, Halloween is great because it’s all-American, great for parties, loaded with processed sugar, and gives ladies a free pass to dress like prostitutes. It’s also one of the few holidays that doesn’t make any grandiose or righteous claims, and is out of the closet about the fact that it’s popular because of its commercialism (I’m looking at you Christmas). Halloween joins New Years Day, and the July 4th as great holidays because you can act like a fool and have a good time with friends, without the obligations that come attached (I’m looking at you again Christmas).
Listed below are some funny costumes I found while googling far less important items:
1. Giving Birth: The Costume!
Pro: Brilliantly disturbing, good teamwork.
Con: Hard to drink your beer, logistical nightmare getting around the party, it’s a vagina, not a clown car.
2. Bioshock Costume
Pro: Incredibly realistic to the fictional game…if that makes sense.
Con: This looks like it took a disturbing amount of time and welding.
3. Naughty Ghostbuster Costume
Pro: Finally, fighting ghosts is sexy again! Includes tiny proton pack and massive boobs.
Con: Since when was ghostfighting sexy in the first place?
4. Alien Baby Costume
Pro: The look on this baby’s face…priceless.
Con: Aliens murdering babies was more of a 2007 trend.
5. Shark Eating Man Costume
Pro: Good work on the legs. Real-life scary.
Con: Scary, but not spooky. Dangling legs hinder vision/drinking.
Pro: Any chance to include a plug for the brilliant show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” is a chance I’m willing to take. For information on ordering one of these guys, check out this link.
Con: While it’s hard to drink, this costume is so cool that there is no real con.
7. Kissing Booth
Pro: Clever way to get some kisses from the ladies. Plus a few from the lads.
Con: Herpes. ‘Nuff said
Con: A whole night of people farting in your face? Just remember, you brought this on yourself.
9. Barrell of Monkeys
Pro: Adorable and warm. Ladies, it’s cold on Halloween. Eventually you’ll see somebody wearing this, and begin to regret wearing your slutty bumblebee costume.
Con: Probably not as much attention from the opposite sex as the slutty bumblebee is getting.
10. Barbie Doll Costume
Pro: Clever and attention grabbing.
Con: Good luck doing anything in this costume, including drinking a beer, getting through doorways or going to the bathroom.
11. Outhouse Costume
Pro: Unique. It’s unlikely anyone else will be an outhouse.
Con: There’s a 50/50 chance someone will try to poop on your chest.
12. Facebook Costume
Pro: Clever, instantly recognizable
Con: As if human interaction didn’t already have enough facebook